The Attack of Professor Sprout
by strongshol
Summary: Professor Sprout goes evil! Read on for more info!
1. No Earmuffs for Them!

**A/N: **Apparently the reason this was taken off was because of the title. I changed it according to the guidelines.

**Disclaimer:** Nada.

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One day on a very blusterous morning, Winnie-the-Pooh went on a walk. He decided to go see Christopher Robin, but...  
  
I'm sorry. The person who started writing the wrong story will be punished. Not with the Crucio Spell, though. Sadly, my boss won't allow it. He's an idiot. Anyway...

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**Chappy One-No Earmuffs for Them**

Harry, Ron, and Hermione walked slowly to Herbology. It was nearing summer, and the weather was dreadful. It was hot, humid, and they were working in the greenhouse as always, and they really were not interested in spending time with Professor Sprout.  
  
They arrived at the greenhouse a few minutes before class started, and they all noticed plants with very green, feather-shaped leaves. When Professor Sprout came into the greenhouse, she told her class that these plants were mandrakes. She awarded 10 points to Gryffindor, as Hermione managed to describe the properties of the mandrake.  
  
After Professor Sprout showed the class how to care for the mandrakes, she put them to work. Harry, Ron, and Hermione realized that Professor Sprout didn't give the class earmuffs, and they saw her with a crooked smirk on her face. They tried to run out of the greenhouse, but before they got out, they fell dead from hearing the mandrakes. Professor Sprout ran away before she was caught.  
  
Dumbledore cried.


	2. The Eastern and Western Hemispheres

**A/N:** There is some political stuff in here about Bush, and I am letting you know that I mean no offense to anyone who supports Bush. I am just a Kerry supporter.

**Disclaimer:** I own Irma Gigglywink.

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**Chapter Two-The Eastern and Western Hemispheres**

Professor Sprout was not the only herbology teacher who had 'released' the mandrakes on her students. Her friend, Irma Gigglywink had done the same, and then ran to a place somewhat like number twelve, Grimmauld Place. Irma had kept in close contact with Professor Sprout, and had eventually persuaded her to do the same.  
  
When Professor Sprout arrived, Irma greeted her with a sense of honor. Irma was very please that Sprout had too killed some students. The two of them started acting silly, and decided to take over the world. They were not for Voldemort or the Aurors, but rather for the Herbolo-archy. They created rules for their anarchy, and then set out to take over the world.  
  
They only decided to take over the wizarding world, so they started out by taking over the three schools, Beauxbatons, Durmstrang, and Hogwarts. They took over those schools easily, and then proceeded to taking over the Ministry of Magic. That took a little more effort, but eventually, they succeeded. Then, they took over the entire Western hemisphere with ease.  
  
They then headed for America, and conquered easily, as Bush was president. He was too busy conquering Iraq.  
  
Irma and Sprout then finished taking over the entire Eastern hemisphere, and then the whole wizarding world was under their control. They celebrated with one too many butterbeers, and then collapsed in their beds.  
  
Dumbledore cried some more.

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**A/N:** Again, I mean no offense to anyone who supports Bush. Also, HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID? I mean, I'm stupid, but not that stupid. Anyway, I found out what **SGR** means. HAHA...this is funny...so I was reading the fifth chapter of one of Suns Golden Ray's stories, and at the top it said **SGRs Note:**. Then I thought for a moment. **SGR**. Suns Golden Ray. OOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I am otay. see, I can say **Ss** note or something. Haha. Anyway, that is the mystery of **SGR**. Now please review my story.


	3. Le Awesome Parties

**A/N:** Hahaha...this is continuing the wrathishness of Professor Sprout and Irma Gigglywink. please reviewness after you have readness.

**Disclaimer: **Only Irma, like last time.

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**Chapter Three-Le Awesome Parties**

Irma and Sprout were so excited that they had the world that they decided to throw a party for Lord Voldemort. They also decided to make it a surprise party. Now, what they didn't know was that Voldemort was planning a surprise party for them, too. Neither of them planned to make their party because, they didn't like the other(s), they just felt like throwing a party.

As Sprout put up the decorations, Irma went to the store, where everyone was bowing down to her. They made sure to eat lots of spicy salsa and chips, and put up pink decorations. Voldemort did the same.

The only thing that was different about their parties was that they were on different days. Irma and Sprout's was on Monday, and Voldemort's was on Tuesday. There would be lots of partying.

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So, on Monday, Irma invited Voldemort over to their house for a cup o' tea for the big fellow. Voldemort was delighted, and accepted the invitation. When they got to their house, Sprout jumped out and yelled, 'SURPRISE!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!' 

Now, Voldemort was very confused, and he said, 'It's not my birthday.'

'Oh, right,' Sprout replied, 'OK, then. SURPRISE!!!'

Voldemort then understood that this was a party somewhat like the one he had planned, and so he decided to enjoy it. They drank lots of butterbeer, and ate lots of chips and salsa. Then it was time to go home. Voldemort asked the two ladies if they wanted to go to his house for appetizers the next night, and of course, they agreed. The said their goodbyes, and went their different ways.

The next night, Irma and Sprout arrived at Voldemort's house. When no one answered the door, they walked in on their own. When they stepped inside, Voldemort jumped out and said, 'SURPRISE!!!!!'

The girls were so excited that they ate all the chips and salsa they could find. They also drank more butterbeer. Then they went home.

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Irma and Sprout were so happy that they and Voldemort had such a happy friendship that they decided to sing. They went out to where most wizards were, and sang a Christmas song called Holy Night. Everyone was so terrified of their terrible singing that they went home, locked all of their doors, and put silencing charms on their neighborhoods. 

Dumbledore cried even more.

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**A/N:** Just so you know, you will eventually know why Dumbledore cries at the end of each chappy, just not yet. Hehehehe...and dudes. This is, I think, the longest Chappy I've ever posted!!! maybe not, tho. 


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